I Hope Goblin Slayer Notices Me
by alimination602
Summary: Who says you can't pick up girls in a guild.


Guild Girls job seemed pretty simple to any outside observers. Write down the details from those requesting the Guilds service and post the information on the adventurer's board. After that, manage the paperwork for those accepting the quests and ensure adequate payment was available upon completion. That would be true if only her regular duties stopped there.

Most observers didn't realise the efforts required to glean such essential information from distraught and sometimes angry patrons. Many of those had spent their lives working in the fields and had little money to spare to pay for such services. And that was even if they had the literacy skills necessary to complete the paperwork themselves.

On top of all that she was also responsible for those who did not return from their quests, managing their guild affairs until such time as a next of kin could be found. Assuming there was even one to find.

But there was one other thing, something not tied directly to her work but one which continued to weigh heavily upon her regardless. One particular adventurer, a certain Goblin Slayer. He seemed to be coming to the Adventurers Guild more often recently. Things were progressing to the point where her job seemed to exclusively revolve around goblin related quests and dispatching Goblin Slayer to hunt them.

It wasn't so bad in some respects. It kept her workload relatively light and made her more efficient if she was handling the same kinds of quests day in day out. Still, she wasn't quite sure whether she really wanted to be cultivating a reputation like that, the guild worker to speak to regarding all things goblin related.

These were the thoughts which continued to circulate through her head as she sat in the tavern space adjoining the adventurer's guild. She continued to sit, nursing the same drink she'd had since the guild closed over an hour ago. When you put it all together it was no wonder she spent so much of her own time here.

"_What'a doing?_"

Guild Girl heard a voice behind her, followed close behind by a weight falling upon her shoulders. Her unexpected companion took note of the drink in her hand which was barely half way towards being empty. "Oh, drinking away your troubles?"

The weight suddenly released, replaced by an unexpected presence as High Elf Archer moved to take the seat at the table across from her. "Mind if I join you?" High Elf Archer did not wait for her reply before she sat down, drink already in hand. Judging by the blush in her face it was almost certainly not her first.

"So, what's eating you?" High Elf Archer asked. Guild Girl was not in the mood to respond to such a question.

"Work getting you down" High Elf Archer phrased it more like a statement than a question. Guild Girls response, or lack thereof, told her all she needed to know.

"Family troubles" High Elf Archer tried again, gauging her targets face to see what kind of reaction she could elicit. "Problems in love"

Guild Girl couldn't stop herself from reacting this time. The grin forming across High Elf Archers face assured her that the elf knew she had hit her mark.

"Something to do with a certain goblin slaying adventurer?" High Elf Archer asked.

Guild Girl knew there was no use in denying it. The truth was almost certainly written across her face as assuredly as if she had stuck it up on the quest board herself.

"He just doesn't seem to take any interest in anything outside his of work" Guild Girl pined. "He's professional and all but anything beyond that remains a mystery to me. Its like he doesn't notice anything outside of goblins"

"And you'd much rather he noticed you?" High Elf Archer asked with a wry smile.

Guild Girl only nodded in reply. In all the years she'd known him she'd never had the heart to just tell him, maybe all she needed to do was-

"That's it then" High Elf Archer interrupted. "What if we dress you up like a goblin and then- Oh, wait. Then he'd try to kill you" High Elf Archers head fell to the table forlornly in defeat. "Bad idea"

Guild Girl took another sip of her drink to steady herself. She already felt down enough without needing to dote on a crestfallen elf as well.

"Crazy idea" High Elf Archers head bolted up from the table with a jolt. "Let's make him jealous" Somehow the elf managed to shift from despondent to euphoric in an instant.

"And how would we do that?" Guild Girl asked, willing to indulge her friend if only for a little longer.

"Elves have a saying '_The sweetest fruit is always on the neighbour's tree_'" High Elf Archer responded.

"Meaning?" Guild Girl asked.

"If he thinks you're taken, it will only make him want you more. Come here" High Elf Archer beckoned her forwards, leaning up to whisper in her ear.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Guild Girl remembered the plan, or as much as could be heard through High Elf Archers ever deepening slurring. Although, truth be told, she was not sure quite how much of it had been intended as genuinely part of the plan. Standing at her regular post behind the guild desk she was about to find out.

"Hey cutie!" High Elf Archer called out.

Before Guild Girl could react she suddenly found herself encircled by the arms of an enthusiastic High Elf Archer. A surprised yelp was all she managed before the elf's lips were atop her own. To say that they became the immediate centre of attention in the Guild would be an understatement. It didn't help that Guild Girl could feel an explorative hand moving dangerously low across the small of her back.

High Elf Archer retreated from the unexpected embrace no worse for wear even as Guild Girl was left gasping for air. "You were so wonderful last night, with your hands and your tongue. I just-"

High Elf Archer quickly pulled herself back in for another kiss, forced to raise herself on her toes to make it over the counter and draw the taller woman into the embrace. The stares of those around them only intensified with Dwarf Shaman and Lizard Priest watching as if both their companions had completely lost their minds.

Guild Girl pulled herself free of the kiss, moving to whisper in the elf's ear. "He's not even here"

"We can't just start as soon as he gets here" High Elf Archer whispered in reply. "We've got to set the scene if we want to-"

The door to the Guild opened with a creak, the familiar shadow of a man dressed in well-worn armour cast across the threshold. Goblin Slayer approached the front desk, seemingly unaware or simply disinterested by the lingering gaze of those around him.

"Any new Goblin slaying quests?" Goblin Slayer asked.

"You'll have to wait some" High Elf Archer interrupted. "I'm afraid this little cutie is busy with me"

"Of course" Guild Girl searched through the papers across her desk, the simple task proving more difficult than usual with a High Elf Archer still clinging to her arm. "Here" Guild Girl handed the quest notice across to Goblin Slayer.

Goblin Slayer peered at the notice before turning and leaving without another word.

A looming silence fell across the Guild, a sea of unwavering gazes.

"Wow" High Elf Archer mused. "He's cold"


End file.
